Lovin' Livin' Fully

Keeping all the best stuff in life and leaving the rest!

Sunday, February 08, 2015

"With a Little Help From My Friends"

Be a drop in my Bucket list!

Help me help myself heal with my Music and cure cancer!! When you have your health you have everything. Let's find out just how powerful music can be.

Having been diagnosed with cancer at the age of 34 made me realize how important going after my dreams are and how short life can be and how precious life is.

Going through surgery in 2001 on my underarm, having my lymph nodes removed, one of the biggest things that scared me was wondering if I might not be able to play the guitar ever again.  So I pulled out that dusty guitar and started playing again after many years.

One of the treatments I had made it so that I couldn't sing for 6 weeks right in the middle of recording my Cd. It was devastating. I still sometimes deal with my chronic cough and it is a challenge to sing and even talk in those moments. But when I can sing, I sing as much as I can.

I believe part of what is keeping me going is my music. I am in the process of recording my first Cd called "Just Love" 15 very diverse songs. This is the one major thing on my bucket list!

But how did I get to here! I was first diagnosed with breast cancer 14 years ago in 2001. After chemotherapy, radiation and 3 surgeries I was diagnosed again with stage 4, liver metastasis in 2004.  I was told I could expect to live two years. However an experimental high dose radiation to the tumour in my liver seemed to work because there I was, 11 years later.

However in November of 2013, they again found metastatis, this time in the lungs, bones and liver. This is of course very serious. Chemo wasn't working any longer, and radiation is used only when needed to manage pain. So I am deciding to take another route. I am seeing a naturopathic doctor, a dietician, and working very closely with many healers. Some of the treatments, I get are free through Wellspring and Mount Sinai. And others cost money. I am doing everything I can to heal and some of these treatments that cost money have very promising studies to back them up. I am open to the possibility of putting the cancer back into remission again by using these various alternative and complimentary treatments including some 'cutting edge' oncological trials.

I would like to try the alternative treatments on a trial basis for the next year. And at the end of the year I will get more test results. Please help give me a fighting chance and help us to cover the estimated costs for the next year. We would so greatly appreciate it! And pay it forward!

My dream and the one main thing on my bucket list when it comes right down to it is this Cd I am working on! I am so grateful to the great folks who are helping me with this and the fine musicians who are playing on the Cd "Just Love" and my wonderful producer Chris Hess from Chess Sound Studios.

I feel very fortunate to have such amazing people working with me to help me do this. I was telling Chris, my husband, last night I feel like the luckiest, unluckiest person in the world.

I am asking you to please help me realize this dream. All the money I receive will pay for the Cd to be finished. After that all left over monies will go towards my ongoing treatments. Thank you so much for being a part of this!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Oregon Natural and Beautiful














Oregon Natural and Beautiful





Playing in the waves

C and C in Oregon


The best trip we have ever taken.
We meet so many nice people.
We are fans of Oregon for Life.
We will be back soon.
love C and C


Shadow Dancers near the Eternal Ocean

This is best viewed turning down the ocean (a bit) and turning up Rufus and join the dance while you are at it. ----------------
Now playing: Rufus Wainwright - April Fools
via FoxyTunes

Oregon Beauty





In sand heart ocean our images

Golden Creatures in an artificial world




What do we see when we see?

Images of a Studio Process


I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning how to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist againI am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again I am re-learning to be an artist again

I was here and made a mess...he he (fingerprints and smudges)


My first year doing visual art other than photography and filmmaking, was very exciting to me. I have spent my time looking at them and learning from the images. This dialogue was the beginning of me seeing images everywhere I look and letting them resonate in me. Most powerful is the dialogue of my own images. This is a travelogue of the experience that I will share with you. I have to let go of the perfectionist in me in order to share these with you. These images are my experimentation with blending colours and allowing what is there to be there in visual form. It is the beginning of a beautiful journey for me and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did making them. Probably not and that’s ok too. Enjoy them as much as you will.

Indecisive electric energy passing by the morning sunrise


This image appeared during supervision and has many resonances with me.
The character in this pastel piece is flying swimming crawling and moves fast with teeth and claws. If I were to ask it a question it would be what could you teach me about my mornings and my studio process.
“Use this energy to create what you feel needs to come into being, but move slow and no need to move at all. This is the electric energy I was working with at times.
So much energy, I couldn’t slow down long enough to ask whether I wanted to fly, swim or crawl. I find especially in the morning it is important to decide when and what I will do in my studio that day. Sometimes even the night before I need to plan it so that the morning doesn’t pass me by.

Tape and Textures



This image came from the idea of adding masking tape and colouring the tape with pastel. I would layer the pastels on the tape thickly and then scratch the surface.
I liked doing this and plan to do many more of these.
But I do see a pattern with the up and down accordion scratches. There is a back and forth that feels comforting.

A Big Commotion in Reproduction Valley


Dancing up and Down with Dark and Light




There seems to be two figures in it. I was struck by this image as it showed me cloaked ghosts dancing. It has grounding to the bottom of the page and one is darker than the other. There is a distinct dark blue line with an up and down accordion again.
I am also aware of the bright yellow halo above. There is a merging that wants to happen. It also seems as though the dark character is trying to come up or is being submerged by the light side.
A cage of perpetual positivity.

The past

at this moment pretty good

My photo
Toronto, ON, Canada
Just trying to figure out this life and death thing. Lovin Livin Fully and when I first was diagnosed almost 15 years ago, I learned to say Yes to everything. Now I'm learning how to say No also. Not as easy for me. I'll talk about my journey and maybe I'll write something inspirational through my journey that gives you hope, and strength to follow your heart and to live fully in Love.